Battleground (2014): The Battle for Swervepremacy was a virtual PPV event produced by newLegacyinc held on July 19, 2014 (the day BEFORE the actual Battleground). The evil boss Sin Cara did not announce the date of the event for a long time since he was looking for ways to keep the company in his hands. This was the first annual Battleground. It was again sponsored by Chork and other companies were vying to be involved in the advertising. Dirtsheets reported that the original plan was to have Stone Cold Steve Austin go over in the main event after a comment made by Vince Russo on Twitter, however this was to be taken with a grain of salt as Sin Cara is known for his last-minute booking decisions.
On the 4th of July, it was confirmed that Battleground would take place at an undisclosed location in Ofrica. Johnny noted on a recent stream that perhaps the hype has blown up expectations too high and he believed the show will be "shit". newWestofrica later interrupted a July 19 (prerecorded?) stream of You Don't Know Jack starring Slip and J22. It was a swerve all along!
For the first time in history, a match was announced ahead of time. Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, and Sin Cara would fight on the kick-off show for company control. It is considered West Ofrica's Wrestlemania, and among the attendees was apparently "Starving Child" Steve Austin - one of nL's more famous characters.
Background[]
Stone Cold Steve Austin, the leader of the Snaketion of Domination of Debra won the Suuuper (insert Tony Chimel's voice) Money in the Bank with the help of Dusty Rhodes (Jake Roberts was supposed to help him, but fell asleep because he was too drunk). This is after losing everything, including his Million Dollar Chris Hero Batista Memorial Iraqi Championship, which was taken by Edge moments before this match. He then decided to Cash in his SMITB briefcase on Sin Cara, so he can take control of the whole company. But Sin Cara had something up his sleeve - he booked the match with Santino Marella as the special enforcer, who ultimately joined the Carabinet by interfering, and Hulk Hogan as the special guest referee. Santino returned to the Snaketion by the end. In the final moments of the match, the whole world was shocked as Hogan leg-dropped Sin Cara and refused to count Steve Austin's pin. Thus he revealed himself to be the 3rd man of the New West Ofrica, and possibly the man behind the technical difficulties Payback suffered. The match for ownership was decided to end in a no contest and who the real GM would be is still in question.
The conclusion left the nL universe picking sides as the power struggle had grown into a divide between three big stables: the Snaketion, the newWestofrica, and the Carabinet.
Match Card[]
No. |
Match |
Stipulation |
Notes |
---|---|---|---|
Kick-Off | Steve Austin/K. Malik Shabazz Austin def. Hulk Hogan & Sin Cara w/special guest referee The Late, Great Khali |
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1 | DeGeneration-Mex (Alberto Del Rio & Shawn Michaels) w/ Mexyco def. One Night in Bollywood (Jinder Mahal & Syxx-Pac) (c) |
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2 |
John Big John Studd def. "Lionheart" John B. L, "The White Knight" John Cena, & "Big Johnny Cool' Jiesel |
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3 | AJohn Big John Studd Lee (c) vs. Lita vs. Summer Rae vs. Natalya |
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4 | Kaitlynn def. Stephanie McMahon, Summer Queef, & Nike Bella |
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5 | "The Viper" Randy Orton def. Scott Steiner (c), Edge (c), "The Semen Demon" Kane, Mike "The Jiz'" Big John Studd, & Batista |
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6 | Perfect Buns ("Cotton Eyed' Joe Hennig & "The Walking Condom" King Kong Bundy) def. Latino Heath (Heath "Big Clem' Slater & "Uncle" Eddie Guerrero) w/ special guest referee Triple H |
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7 | Jew BlackIntyre (Drew McIntyre, Goldberg, & Darren Young) def. The 3 McMahon Band (Big Show, Virgil, & Mr. McMahon) |
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Main Event | "The World's Strongest Ofrican" Mark Henry def. Butt "Shitman" Fart (c), Dusty Rhodes, Ricky "The Shitty Charizard" Dreamboat w/ special guest referee David Otunga |
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Dolphin's Predictions[]
Hulk Hogan wins control of the company for the New West Ofrica. (MY SOURCES LIED TO ME GOD DAMMIT GET THE ASPIRIN.)
DeGeneration-Mex win the Tag Championships.
John Big John Studd Wins the Inter-John-tinental Title.
Summer Rae wins the Divas HOF title (GOD DAMN SOURCES LIED TO ME PIECES OF HUMAN GARBAGE)
Mike 'The Jiz' Big John Studd wins the Million Dollar Chris Hero Batista Memorial Mexican Iraqi Championship/The D.U.M.B. (MY SOURCES FUCKED ME OVER AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD)
Latino Heath wins #1 Contenders Tag Team Match (FUCK MY SOURCES I'M DONE WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW)
Jew BlackIntyre wins the Three Man Band Championship.
Ricky 'The Shitty Charizard' Dreamboat wins the Big Shitty Canada Championship. (FUCK ME IN THE ASS)
Reception[]
Battleground was arguably the most highly anticipated event of the year, as there were literally dozens of posters made for the PPV. And Johnny was constantly bugged on Twitter about it. The stream had, at one point, over a 1,000 viewers, so that's pretty remarkable, I guess.
The official attendance for Battleground was not taken, but we do know that the crowd was a bunch of deprived Ofricans who don't even have a library, apparently. Either way, the event had a reasonable turnout. However, nLWWE Superstar Heath Slater said the following about the Ofrican crowd: "Me, and muh Uncle Eddie have wrestled in bango hauls louder than that craphole of a place. You could literally hear Uncle Eddie gasping for air at point in his match, even in da nosebleed seats! A'hyuck!". Despite their leader, Hulk Hogan, losing the kick off match, the people of West Ofrica decided not to riot or boycott the show, because "it would probably be better than the actual show".
Popular nLWWE Superstar Daniel Bryan still hasn't debuted yet for the company, much to the dismay of the nLWWE Universe. In a recent interview with PWIinsider, Bryan said: "I feel like Sin Cara never booked me because I was never near him backstage when he booked his matches, so [Sin Cara] couldn't point at me. I think Stone Cold legitimatley forgot I existed, so that may be why I wasn't booked [at Battleground]. Hopefully the changes in management will help me get booked."
The event generated mostly positive reviews from fans and critics alike, stating that gimmick matches and high spots were the reason behind the event's success. Mark Madden was at the event live, but all he did was complain about inconsistent booking and a lack of AJ Lee-Brooks. He has an ab fetish for some reason. Dave Meltzer also attended the PPV, and wrote a much more professional report on it. Meltzer said "This event was well executed, but the spot of the Austin/Hogan/Cara match was way too early, but the actual main event made up for it". Meltzer then went on to give each match a 4 star rating.